Connecting With Others
Written by LA Judge	  
Friday, 15 May 2009 12:13
Depressed? Feeling all alone? Need someone with which to talk? Well don’t join an online group. 

In my time in the online community, I have read hundreds – maybe thousands – of posts by someone that just joined xyz group and is now thinking that they have a thousand new friends. I have even see posts by those persons bashing others for not responding and making them feel better. Simple fact is, do not come into an online group looking to be lauded over, praised and automatically gaining friends. Join a group because you want to learn what the group has to offer or because you have something to offer as a contribution to the collective membership of the group. 

Remember making friends in the online world is just as slow (and painful) as it is offline. There are however a number of things you can do increase the chances that you will make a few true friends online. 

·    Give a brief real introduction of yourself when you join the group. After your intro jump in and get involved. Do not wait for others to come to you – they won’t. 

·    Respond to others often and in a positive fashion. The more you are seen – the more you will be remembered. And you want the group members to remember that you are pleasant to be around. 

·    Make your comments brief and to the whole group. Remember when sending an e-mail to a group list it may be going to several thousand people. Personal discussions should always be taken off list. 

·    Use your real name. No one is going to respect someone named Lord Peter Pan – but Pete they will remember. 

·    Avoid the open mouth – insert ass scenario. No one expects you to be an expert on everything. If you don’t know something don’t pretend you do. And if you don’t know, ask questions. You will be remembered for your ability to be open and to learn. 

·    Get involved. Go to meetings – live chats – participate in any group activities that you can. Show that you are willing to take a chance and meet others – you and they will both be glad that you did. 

Just as in the real world – true online friends are few and far between. Remember friendships are  earned, never given.